Childhood Cancer: Supporting Your Child Through Treatment

Care for your child's mental and emotional health

Kids undergoing cancer treatment commonly feel sad, afraid, anxious, stressed and even angry. Having those feelings heard and validated is important and comforting. Let your child know you're always ready to listen and have conversations, no matter what they're feeling. If they find talking about these feelings hard, suggest they try expressing them in other ways, such as through drawing, painting, writing or music.

A child life specialist or therapist specializing in pediatric cancer can help your child manage difficult feelings and develop effective coping strategies. That extra support may be especially valuable if your child seems depressed.

You may not realize it, but your child takes emotional cues from you. Be open with your feelings but stay calm; this encourages your child to do the same. Engaging them in activities they normally enjoy, such as playing video games or watching movies, can provide distraction and help them relax.

Prepare for physical changes

Treatment may affect your child's appearance. Reassure them that any changes in looks are a temporary part of their journey to recovery. If treatment will make your child's hair fall out, let them pick out a fun cap, scarf or wig ahead of time. Cutting your child's hair short before treatment begins can help them get used to having less hair.

Some cancer treatments tend to cause weight loss or gain. Before treatment begins, consult a dietitian to learn what to expect and how to help your child cope with the change. A dietitian can also advise you on ways to ensure your child gets the nutrients they need.

Hair loss or a weight change sometimes makes people stare or ask personal questions. Anticipate that possibility and talk with your child about a way to respond that works for them.

Help nurture social connections

Having to stay home or in the hospital and miss school – and time with friends – can be isolating, which can contribute to sadness. As time goes on, your child may feel disconnected from friends.

Help your child maintain relationships and a sense of normalcy by encouraging them to stay in touch through texts, emails, video chats and phone calls. If the medical team says it's safe, suggest that your child invite friends to visit. If your child isn't sure what to share with friends about their cancer, have a conversation ahead of time about what feels comfortable and appropriate to tell others.

Your child may also benefit from making friends with kids who are also dealing with cancer. Attending support groups that meet in person or online is a great opportunity for your child to connect with others going through a similar experience.

Support school engagement

Kids often must miss school while going through treatment. Work with your child's school to develop an education plan tailored to their needs. This might include reduced workloads, flexible deadlines, virtual learning options, or figuring out how they can attend school when they feel well enough or between treatments. Keep school staff informed about your child's therapy schedule and any potential side effects that could affect attendance or performance.

At UCSF Benioff Children's Hospitals, we offer a School Program for children who are in the hospital for long periods. And our School Re-Entry Program can ease your child's transition back to school.

Encourage healthy eating habits

Your child's cancer treatment may affect their appetite. Work with a pediatric dietitian who can suggest ways to meet your child's nutritional needs, such as offering high-calorie foods to prevent weight loss.

If your child is reluctant to eat, don't insist. Ensure healthy foods are available and praise your child for eating. Try offering small meals throughout the day, which may be more appealing than large servings. Distracting your child with a favorite movie or TV show during mealtimes may also make eating easier.

Manage pain and other physical discomfort

Many elements of cancer treatment can be painful or uncomfortable, from needle sticks to surgery to chemo side effects. Managing the discomfort is an important part of treatment. Your child will be stronger and do better if they aren't in pain. Talk to your child's doctor about over-the-counter or prescription medications that can provide relief.

Here are some other things to try:

• Do something fun together. Working on an art project or playing a game can take your child's mind off the pain.
• If your child is up to it, take a walk together. Physical movement can make the body produce pain-reducing hormones.
• Apply a cold pack or heating pad – whichever feels best to your child – to the painful area. Gentle massage can also alleviate discomfort and bring emotional relief.
• Explore complementary therapies for controlling pain, such as progressive muscle relaxation, guided imagery and biofeedback. You may want to ask your child's doctor for a referral to our Stad Center for Pediatric Pain, Palliative & Integrative Medicine. Specialists there offer a variety of techniques not only for managing kids' pain but for addressing their spiritual and emotional needs while undergoing cancer treatment.